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Posts Tagged ‘mommy blogging’

He asked me if he could help him wrap his presents for his brother and sister.  My youngest, my baby, now 7.  He is no longer a baby.  But sometimes even he will admit that he still needs his mommy.

He was intent on finding little boxes in which to put the presents before we wrapped them.  Decorative duct tape and a Lil’ Webkinz are too recognizable wrapped on their own.  So we found little boxes, the one for the Webkinz with a little plastic window where the baby seal could look out to surprise his brother when he opened it.  We got the paper, cut it to size, and began taping.  He broke the cheap 99c tape dispenser, looked up with surprise.  “It’s not a big deal, Lukey.”  A moment of relief, then a refocus on the task at hand.  I held the paper for him while he got a piece of the Scotch tape and carefully placed it on a wrapping paper seam.  His hand, still so small, so beautiful, acting in a moment of love and joy for his brother and sister.  It touched my spirit in a way I just didn’t expect in that moment, and it’s still bringing peace to my heart.

His sister loved her duct tape, and his brother gave a big smile and a Jake sized-laugh when he saw the baby seal poking his little face out.  And it was beautiful.  And it was Christmas.

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My youngest made a Thanksgiving card for Cory and me.  The message contained within said, “Daddy, thank you for making me breakfast every morning.  Mommy, even though I don’t see you much, I still love you.”

Heartbreaking, because it’s true.

I’m in school full-time.  I’m working a job I love full-time.  Just over a year ago, I was doing neither.  I was home full-time.  I was mommying full-time.  I was available to the kids full-time.  I’m not anymore.

I don’t have to be working or going back to school.  I do love what I’m learning in school.  I think that this degree, hand-in-hand with the job I’m working, could really lead to a career that I love, that I’m good at, that makes me a better person.  I want to be a better person for me, for my family, for my friends, for my community, for my world.  I want that.  And, most of the time, I’m confident that this is worth it.

Sometimes, today, through the eyes of my youngest, I’m not so sure.

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Okay, picked up this fill-in from Heather.  Enjoy. 🙂

 

1. If I could get away somewhere for the weekend I would go to:  a B&B with my hubs.  And I’m going to in a couple of weeks, celebrating our 14 years of marriage.  Crazy.

2. Something I often rant about is: okay, 2 things.  One, when you share something with someone and they respond with, “Well, it must be nice,” in a snarky, jealous way.  I’m happy for you when something good happens to you, you should try and do the same (for me or anyone else).  Two,  when we feel we have to justify a purchase to someone just because they compliment us.  (This will probably make more sense to the ladies out there.)  When I say, “Ooohhh, your ring is really pretty,”  Or, “I love that shirt!”, believe what I say.  I don’t mean, “Wow, I really think that ring is pretty and it must have cost a fortune.”  I really don’t care what you paid for it.  I don’t need you to tell me that you found it on sale.  I’m really just letting you know that I like it.  It’s fine if you got a deal and want to share that with me, but that’s really not the intent of my compliment.  I’m really just glad for you that you have something you enjoy.

3. One item I need to have in my fridge at all time is: Vanilla Yogurt.  A big tub of it.  It’s essential for our smoothies and parfaits.  A few frozen strawberries, bananas, blueberries and yogurt in the blender and the kids think they’re having ice cream for breakfast. 🙂

4. My “life-saving” product is: Frizz-Ease by John Frieda.  It makes my hair almost sane.

5. A friend is someone who: is honest, is there for you, rejoices in your joy, comforts and listens to you in your sadness, and doesn’t leave you for the newest model.  I wonder if I’ve been guilty of that.

6. If I could write my own blank it would be: The next thing I want to learn to do is _________.

7.  My favorite kind of art is: photography.  It brings me so much joy.  And Norman Rockwell paintings.  I just love those.

My answer to Heather’s blank: Mark Harmon.  Maybe I was twelve, though.  Oh!  And Jon Bon Jovi.

My answer to my blank: A cartwheel.  Haven’t checked that off the bucket list, yet. 😉

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“Mommy, in the summer we can use those water guns again!”  Luke spots the toys in the basement, where they hibernate through the long winter.

In his five year old reality, summer seems another lifetime away.  Outside, snowflakes are rapidly falling to the sidewalks.  He’s home from another grueling week of Kindergarten, already changed out of his uniform and into his jammies.  He sits at the table, sipping hot chocolate.  It’s a great day, because he gets marshmallows AND whipped cream.  Life doesn’t get much better.  In his eyes, these chilly days are far removed from the pool and suntanned days of summer.

For me, it will be like the blink of an eye until their little browned bodies are running barefoot through the grass.  Just a quick flip of the calendar, and we’ll be seeing swimming lessons and days dedicated to the splashpark  littering the schedule.    Boots will be packed away, and socks will be forgotten for a season.  Bring out the Crocs and the flip-flops and we’ll all be ready to go.

Mommy time is so much different than kid time.  I sometimes feel like their birthdays come around weekly, and the time between Christmases seems to be only a matter of a few months.  Everyone told us that their growing up would fly by; told us until we were about to lose our patience hearing it.  Really, how many times can you politely smile at the same inane statement?  We knew it would be true; we know it has been true.  And yet, the reality of it seems to almost defy the laws of chronology.

So, in what will feel like a breath to me, and a lifetime to him, my little boy will trade his snowsuit and gloves for swimtrunks and goggles.  We’ll have a spring, summer and fall full of new friends, new activities, and far too many photos than the kids will ever want to entertain.  And a year from now, with the snowflakes falling and the cocoa steaming, I’ll wonder again, “How in the world has another year gone by?”

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I’ve spent much of Labor Day weekend in the attic.  The attic that you could only barely walk around in 3 days ago.  The attic that holds most of everything extra that Bald Man and I have accumulated in our adulthood (much of it childhood memorbilia that our parents wanted out of their houses).  The attic that’s supposed to be wonderful extra space to explore hobbies and such and not have everything sitting out on the dining room table.  That attic.

The attic is noticeably different today.  Still not usable, but I can at least feel that I accomplished a bit with the long weekend.

And, I was able to share our prom picture with the 3 year old.  He was intrigued.

“Daddy looks funny.  The hair on Daddy’s head looks funny.”

“Yes.  Daddy used to have hair.”

“Were you at a birthday party?” (The sum total of backdrop for the photos were two balloon bouquets.)

“No.”

(Looking at my dress) “Were you a princess?”

“Yes.  Yes I was.”

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